Quick advice: When using spray adhesive, be sure to plan enough time to take a shower right afterwards. (you'll understand later on in my post).
The last two and a half weeks have been crazy to say the least. In that time, I have moved home, been job hunting, worked nearly 50+ hours, celebrated Mother's day, and two birthdays, planned so many summer adventures, and all on top of some extremely sensitive emotions. Let's start from the beginning...
Tuesday, May 1, brought some extremely rough challenges. I was frustrated. People who had owed me money hadn't paid me back, and then tried to pull this whole "you owe us money" thing, and that was frustrating, then a TON of anger that had been welling up for a good month finally exploded. I was tired of feeling like I never had anything worthwhile to say, and never knew anything, I was ALWAYS wrong, in the eyes of this certain person. I was tired of it, finally it all welled up and it left me questioning my reasons to live. I called my mom and was so frustrated with it all, it was then that I finally told her that suicide had become a very frequent thought for me. She and I both knew that I needed help, but at that point I wanted nothing else but to leave all the pain, and sadness behind. And... even in that moment I was thinking of others, I knew that the policy on campus was that if any of your roommates died during the semester that for "grieving purposes" the other roommates pass all their classes, and I knew it would alleviate a lot of stress in my apartment. I don't think I've EVER come so close in my entire life... all I have to say is that I have one VERY convincing brother and that him & my twin probably saved my life that night.
The next day, I packed up, cleaned and prepared to leave Thursday morning (a day earlier than planned). I needed to be home, I needed to be in a place where I felt loved and needed, and most of all I needed to be around people who I felt valued me and my ideas. Moving home was quite the experience, I cleared up any harsh feelings left behind, packed up and left. Ever since then I've been unpacking, packing, cleaning and re-arranging things in my room, good news is that I'm almost done. And that my room looks and feels so entirely different, but I love it.
Work is different, I love that I'm getting more hours, but hate that so much has changed. The store I work for is very family oriented when it comes to customers, and I felt that it was that way when I worked before school, but now that I've come back things are so different. Now, I feel like they couldn't care less about their employees, and like they don't realize that their employees are some of their most loyal customers. In short, I didn't agree with what they were doing, and began looking for a new job asap.
Speaking of work: it's the moment I know You've ALL been waiting for: EMBARRASSING STORY OF THE WEEK! So, I work at a grocery store as a bagger/cashier right? Well when a guest comes to your check-stand and you're bagging you're supposed to walk up and say something to the extent of "Hi how are you doing today?" wait for a response and then ask if you can put their groceries in paper or plastic bags.
Well, when I asked one guest how she was doing, she said oh not good and then proceeded to tell me and my checker how she had fallen earlier that morning and had to have staples put into her head. Talk about OUCH! Well after she left, my checker and I continued to talk about how much that must hurt. (Keep in mind it was pretty slow at this time) I then told her how at one time my nephew had to have staples in his head, she asked how old he was and I explained that he was just young. Just then another guest comes to my check-stand, so quickly switching conversations, I begin to ask the lady how she was doing in a quite enthusiastic voice, well "how are you doing today?" was not what came out of my mouth. Instead I said, "Hi, How old are you?" It was one of those moments where you watch your life in slow motion and go "NOOOooooooo......." and then try to pull the words back into your mouth. Luckily, she just laughed and then continued to say that she was 44 and would be 45 on such and such a day. I felt awful, I tried to apologize over and over again. She just laughed and said it was okay, it made her day, and she understood that I must've been at work for too long. My checker also laughed, now that I think about it, it was pretty funny. I just feel bad that that's what came out of my mouth... Oh well! :D
Finally, the last few days have been celebrations galore. Sunday was Mother's day, that was awesome, it was so fun to get together with the family and celebrate one fantastic mother. Then today was my mom's and my nephew's birthday. I Stayed up late last night finishing my mom's birthday gift and then woke up absurdly early (well for me anyways) at 6 am to make my mom breakfast in bed. {Yeah, I'm pretty much the best daughter I know, and probably the most humble one too JK, haha :) }. I gave my mom her gift tonight, and was well pleased to see that she liked it. (hopefully I'll post pictures to this post soon). It may have been one of the most entertaining craft projects. However, I got spray adhesive EVERYWHERE and ended up having to take a shower before I dared even attempt to get it off my arms, hair glasses, etc. I'm sure spray adhesive is great for somethings but not for others.. but I'm glad she loved it, it was definitely worth it.
So basically that's the last two weeks in a nutshell, but keep on smiling, that what I keep telling myself. :) Life is great!
P.S. After much contemplation of what I'm living for, and a minor realization that I don't know why I WANT to live, I made some changes. So I decided to make a goal and a purpose for life: get my endowments from the temple.
That's all folks! Have a great day! :)
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