Sad to Leave

I'm not a cryer.  I'm not, it just doesn't happen.  I do cry though when things strongly affect me or if I see someone else crying (I'm kind of a pity cryer sometimes).

Two and a half years ago, I did not want to come to my jr. college.  My senior year of high school, I had my mind set on a university and that's where I wanted to be, but the man upstairs felt it necessary to tell me no, that I needed to attend the college in "Turkey-ville" (there's lots of turkey farms here) instead.  I was angry with him for a little while, and so ready to get out of little "Turkey-ville" as soon as I had my associates.  Last, year when I felt like my Heavenly Father was telling me to stay here instead of going on to a university I was confused.  I had my associates, but no idea of my major.  What classes was I supposed to take here?  In the long run, I ended up figuring it out, but only after I made the decision to stay.  I'm so glad I did.

I've been given so many opportunities here.  I learned a LOT about myself and about life.  I began to get clean.  I restarted my life, so to say, and gave myself another chance.  I learned a lot of things.  One of those things being that I LOVE life- I thoroughly enjoy it and can't believe that I was ever suicidal.  I also explored many career options and found one that made me happy.  I've made friends who have taught me a lot.

This morning as I pondered the fact that I'm done with all my classes here and that I'm moving on and leaving in less than a week- I CRIED.  I AM NOT A CRYER.  Especially when saying goodbye, I don't cry- yes, I miss the place or people but I just don't cry.

Today I realized that as much as I didn't want to come here my freshman year, that I LOVE it here!  I don't want to leave "Turkey-ville!"  I am scared to go to my university, nervous about a lot of things but at the same time I feel peace and contentment and know that I'm making the right choice and going at the time that is right for me.  That still doesn't make leaving the place I've known as home for 2.5 years any easier, but I do know that it is time for me to move on and that I will grow a lot from doing what I'm supposed to.  I'm sad to close this chapter of my life, but I'm excited to open a new one!