A Letter to Myself

Dear Mel (18.75 years old), 

I want to write to tell you a few things.  If you're smart- and I know you are- you will listen.  I want you to know first off that you have such a great LOVING Heavenly Father who loves you unconditionally regardless of any mistakes you have made.  You will question that love multiple times but I want you to look around and realize that he DOES love you- He is taking care of you.  Even if it doesn't seem like it. 

Mel, the next year and a half is going to be hard I'm not going to lie about that.  But I want you to know that it will be much easier if you just trust in your Father in Heaven.  You will endure some VERY hard things- you will struggle with yourself and with others that you love and trust.  Talk to your mom, tell her everything.  She understands more than you will know- she won't hate you, if anything she will love you more.  Mel, PLEASE listen when multiple people tell you that you need to change somethings in life.  You do have a problem and you CAN overcome it- but you need to listen to people and get help.  Do that sooner rather than later- don't lose friends over stupidity. 

Melinda, at some point you will be forced to go to counseling- please understand that you honestly DONT hate counseling and that you CAN trust Diana.  She will teach you some life skills that will truly make you happy!  She will become one of your greatest advocates and help you start moving forward in a better direction.  But you can't change if you don't think you have a problem, so figure that out early on. 

When you do finally decide that you might have a problem, start working on getting it fixed and look at all of the benefits of moving on (AKA the temple= AWESOME). You will struggle for the first few months.  You may even be asked to move out of your apartment into another one for no apparent reason, this is NOT a reason for relapse.  Don't even think about it!  Instead try to see that God is trying to bless you with another GREAT friend who truly understands what you're going through- and he's helping you weed out all the worthless people from your life. 

Start looking for the good things in life.  Decide now to be happy!  Live for a better tomorrow!  Life is meant to be enjoyed not endured.  Praying and reading your scriptures will provide a good gateway for happiness.  As small as those two things may seem right now- they WILL provide more happiness than you can even imagine.  God will begin watching for ways to bless you when you are willing to talk to him and tell him what you need or just that you need him.  Obey what he tells you to do. Secretly, He kinda REALLY knows what He's doing!  

Some last advice- Pick your fights and friends wisely.  See people as they can become!  Serve and love others!  A batch of cookies or Dr. Pepper can go a long way!  Believe that you are a good person and live to become better!  Keep going to your meetings and reading your scriptures and praying even when it is hard.  God will bless you!  And Don't forget to BE HAPPY NOW!!! 

Love, the older and wiser version of yourself