Today, I had an experience that I think may be kind of hard to forget for quite some time. I honestly didn't want to go to institute, but I bucked up, put my shoes on and went out the door. And I'm so grateful that I did. We talked about Doctrine and Covenants 30-34,71,73, and 75. All of these have a main theme of Service in the Kingdom. Many things in this lesson really made me think. One of those things is in section 71 verse 3. "Verily this is a mission for a season, which I give unto you." I took this as we all have been called to serve in the kingdom in different ways. We will all be given different missions in our lives. We all have been given various gifts to help us on these missions. Today it really struck me of my love for people. And honestly, I think that's a gift that I have been blessed with. I need to tell you a story to help you see what I mean.
The tenth anniversary of September eleventh hit, and all I could do was watch the memorials on T.V. I kept thinking about all the sacrifices that so many people gave for us on that day. I thought of all the innocent lives lost on that day, people who didn't deserve to have their lives ended for them. Children, spouses, parents, family and friends who didn't deserve to lose their loved ones. I honestly, just ached for those people wishing that if I could I would take all the pain away. I then reflected upon WWII and thought of how none of those Jews deserved the "punishment" they received for their "crime" of existence. Again, I thought of the cruel world we live in, with such cruel people. Then my thoughts found themselves pondering the time of the Civil war. I thought of how cruel our country was to a group of people with a different skin color. None of it seemed fair. ALL of it seemed so, so cruel. I just couldn't wrap my mind around how cruel people are. I've always thought that I just have too big of a heart and love people too easily.
Today, I realized that maybe my ability to love people so easily no matter what kind of past they have is one of those gifts that I've been blessed with to help me serve my mission while here on earth. I also had the realization today about a dream that I've had two or three times in the last two or three weeks.
On about Sept 18 or so I had a dream about a foreign little boy being in my sister's 5th grade class, again a few days later I dreamed about the same little boy being in my ward. A few days after that I dreamed that this little boy wanted to go to primary, so I offered to help him find his class. However, he spoke little to no English, I didn't even know how to ask him how old he was or how to communicate that to him. I took him into the primary room and there was my brother sitting with a group of boys that looked just slightly older than this boy. I took the boy to Phillip and introduced them. The boy sat next to Phillip and looked so lost, as I headed out of the room I took the time to glance back and saw Phil put his arm and this boy, kind of in a "it's okay, everything is going to be alright, you're welcome here and We love you." sorta way. The next thing I knew, I was awake and had tears streaming down my face. I had this dream a once or twice since then.
I called my mom afterwords and talked to her about it. I asked if she thought that our dreams could mean something. She said yes. I asked her what she thought the dream could mean. She had no idea but told me to pray about it. I gained a few new insights on this today. I thought that maybe this was my heavenly father trying to make me aware of my talents that he's blessed me with. I wonder deep down if Heavenly Father was trying to tell me that he's aware of me and has given me gifts because I have a purpose here on earth that I'm yet to be through with. I also wonder if maybe this is his way of telling me that instead of going on a trip back east, or to Cali with my family for a week, that i need to go to a different country and serve for a month in a foreign land. I am still confused as to what it means, but I'm so grateful that the lord loves me so much that he would bother to give me insight into this odd dream that i had. It helped me to know of his awareness for me, and for that I'm so grateful.
It's been an interesting day, but needless to say, I'm so grateful for insight I've gained. It's just Awesome! I'm just one person, but I am one person who can change the world. I'm so grateful that my Heavenly Father loves me enough to help me realize these blessings!
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